The Fickleness of Being A Human Being

#life #human #lighthearted #beinghuman #change #writer #blog #peace #love #fickleness

I hated tomatoes when I was a kid; beans as well. I couldn’t understand how people ate such bloody looking things with English Breakfast (my favorite). From when I was little I believed that I would only ever be with a guy from my country (Nigeria) and my tribe (Yoruba). And my comfort zone when it came to traveling was always within English-speaking countries, and places that seemed “black friendly.” Countries too far, too different and too foreign were utterly oblivious to me. By this, I mean countries in places like Asia.

So…why do I absolutely love tomatoes now. I find their taste, texture and color to be glorious. How come my very ever first boyfriend was white and British. And to top it off, I’m currently planning to move to Japan. Huh?

Does that happen to you as well? I bet it does. So many things we originally find to be unappealing and distasteful are somehow the very things that peak our interests today. Things, people and places we were thoroughly obsessed with early in our lives are the very things we can’t stand anymore.

Boys we had deep crushes on, girls we hoped and hoped we may one day be lucky enough to date, don’t even move us anymore now. Sometimes you even wander what you ever saw in them. And that’s not to diss them, you sincerely can’t find what made you so crazy about them.

Why and how do things change?

Well, we’re fickle, very fickle. We go through a never ending cycle of change, growth and metamorphosis. During this process we expel and absorb things and it’s so beautiful. I really do find this aspect of being a human being to be neither good nor bad, but rather interesting.

Although it can be bad (some times). For instance, when you work so hard for a goal and you’re headstrong and passionate about it and then someone says just one statement concerning that aspiration and you immediately become discouraged, distraught and sad. You no longer see that once shiny dream the way you formerly did. As a result, you give up.

It could also be good too, this “fickleness.” Like when you have a certain fear and you think it’s the worst possible thing ever and it gives you anxiety and sleepless nights and zero moments of peace. And then someone tells you something, just one thing, about that fear, and then you suddenly wander: “…hmm…you’re actually right.” You experience an instant paradigm shift and that fear becomes nothing more than a dot.

Maybe fickleness isn’t the word to describe all these things I’ve mentioned. But I quite like the way it sounds and I don’t think “change” or “metamorphosis” encompasses it aptly.

This is not to say that there aren’t some things that remain the same about you. Because there are. Not every single thing about you changes. I still love cats, I still believe anime is one of the best form of art in the world, and I still love reading dictionaries for fun.

Just embrace it-this aspect of being a sentient human being. Accept the change that blooms from within you, and sprouts outwards like a flower. These changes you can’t control. The wildness that comes with it, the lessons it brings, the openness it welcomes into your life. Embrace it all.

Never say never; because if anyone had told me this time last year (April 2018), that I would able to read, write and speak an Asian language. If anyone told me when I was in university that I would be the first of my siblings to move out of our family house and live by myself halfway across the world. If…if anyone told me when I was a kid, that I would be the way I am right now.

I would not have believed them.


Chill With God

#Christian #nonChristian #atheist #chilled #writer #blog

If God is omni-present (every where) then what is “the presence of God?” Well simply put, in this context, God’s presence is that secret place between you and Him (Psalm 91:1).

I believe God’s presence is the best place to be. Why? Well you can do about anything in the presence of God. You can be utterly and completely honest with God. You can be yourself, study His Word and find truth in His presence. You can be wrong or right in His presence. If you’re tempted to do a particular sin, or maybe you’re already doing the sin, no matter how bad or dirty the sin is you can invite God to help you in that situation as opposed to shutting Him out or running away from Him (which is literally impossible because God is everywhere).

I grew up thinking God’s presence was some holier than holy atmosphere where you had to be prim, proper and pure. The truth is God’s presence is actually where you should breakdown, be vulnerable and share with God those not so holy or clean issues and situations in your heart and life. You can and should bring in the good, the bad and the ugly in God’s presence.

God’s presence is where you can read something from the Bible and tell God what you learnt from it. And even if that thing you learnt is wrong, that’s fine, cuz He can correct you and show you the truth and help you grow. You can tell God your views and opinions about the various things in this life-judgement free. Just tell Him, and let Him tell you what He thinks about it.

There’s no better place to be wrong, right, strong, immature, or ‘weak’ than in front of your Father. He’s your parent, best friend, Lord and is eternally faithful to you.

Hebrews 4:16 encourages us to come boldly before God. It didn’t say come boldly whenever you’ve not sinned or whenever you feel good or whenever all is well, it just said come boldly. Meaning without fear, any and every time, come to God. Make the most of His presence which is always with you.

Be Real With God

#God #honesty #free #Christian

Being real with God is fundamental in your relationship with Him. I encourage you to stop telling God what you think He wants to hear and stop being as you think He wants you to be.

Be yourself-whether you think you’re good, bad or in between, be yourself; and establish an honest, judgement-free space with God. If there are issues or attitudes you need to change or work on, God would let you know about them and help you with the said issue(s).

Ask, ASK, ASK!! God questions, talk to Him, be open and honest and free with Him. Look at Jesus and how freely His disciples, strangers, saints and sinners alike walked up to Him and asked Him questions. And they asked Him all sorts didn’t they? What more us? Why aren’t we that free with God as the people in the Bible were? Probably because you’ve been told to be so, so and so in the presence of God or you shouldn’t say certain things to God. The truth is those things you’re afraid to tell Him (or those things you’re afraid to confront within you) are most likely the very things you should be telling Him about.

Are you confused about something in your life or with the faith, is there something about Christianity that you don’t get? Tell Him. Are you struggling to believe something that’s written in the Bible or things you’ve grown up being taught in Church? Tell Him. Are you angry at God? YES I said it:” ARE YOU ANGRY AT GOD?” Tell Him. You might find this odd but God can see your heart anyway? Every single good, bad, pure or disgusting thing within you is clear before Him, so why not just confront that thing with Him? Some might think that “as a true Christian” you should not feel certain ways or “question God” or even dare to be upset with Him. I’m sorry but I don’t know what Bible those people are reading. Look through the entire Scriptures from Genesis to Revelation. The biblical figures we so much love and look up to had debilitating breakdowns when calamity hit them and they were very vocal about these hardships with God. If David was alive today and we could listen to Him read out the book of Psalms verbatim, we would think he was mad. Same with Job (The Book of Job) and definitely the oh so wise Solomon (Ecclesiastes). These figures didn’t just say “all is well” and “God is in control” and “I am strong in Jesus name” (not that these statements are bad). They were free with God and expressed their pain, confusion and frustrations before Him. Also, asking God questions is not the same thing as questioning Him-please let that sink in.

Talking to God not only draws you closer to Him but it helps you know yourself more and helps God work on that area of yourself (or area of your life) properly. It also helps you know God for yourself, in a way only you, personally can. Talk to your Father, and listen to Him.


Freewill Governs This Earth

#freewill #life #God #athiest

Hi guys. Today I want to talk about FreeWill. This article would be in conjunction to the previous write up I made. Please check it out if you can, it’s titled “Sigh…Life.”

Freewill is a very simple yet complicated concept. Freewill means the freedom (literally freedom) to do whatever you want to do. Freedom to live your life as you please, freedom to make your own decisions and shape your life as you please. It is the choice to make, destroy, love, hate, kill or save. That is FreeWill. All of us have it, but not all of us get the privilege to use it. And some of us get the privilege to make use of our freewill in varying degrees.

Anyway, what I want to talk about today is how Freewill governs this earth. Some of you reading this write up may or may not believe in God, fate, destiny, karma and the like. I personally believe these things do exist. I believe God created not only the earth but the entire universe, humans, plants and life as we know it. But I also strongly believe that God put this earth under our (we humans’) control.

Genesis 1:28 tells us that after God created Adam and Eve He told them to have dominion over the earth. Meaning he left the earth in our hands. I mean look at the earth: all the wars, killings and social laws being made, as well as how we love, form friendships and families etc. We do these things I’ve listed and more because we’re free to do them. Whether it’s wrong or right God has eternally given humans the freedom to make decisions for themselves to live as they please.

So once again, like I said in my previous write up, some pains and sufferings that come our way and even the way of others aren’t necessarily “the will of God.” A woman who gets murdered dies because someone premeditated to harm and end her life. The same goes for the child that gets abducted and the man whose food gets poisoned. A large number of unhappy happenings on this earth occur simply because someone (or people) decided that it would happen. Sometimes these evil plans do fail (yay), sometimes they don’t.

I’ll repeat myself from my previous post: it is very irresponsible to push every negative thing that happens on God and say it occurred because He willed it. Or because of a curse or enemy attack. This is not to say that God’s desires (or will) for us don’t still occur. But God has given us Freewill and He doesn’t take away our right to it. He may have a particular design for someone (some of us call this destiny), but this person’s decisions go a long way in how his/her life pans out. This is a call for us humans to be more responsible over our actions, words and lifestyle. Because what we do and say affects not only us but others as well.

One last thing: God is good, real and beautiful; and He’s always present to help you out and listen to you.

Stay blessed.


#life #sadtimes #healing #Non-Christian #Christian

Hi guys. Today I want to talk about the challenges we face as humans, our failures and fears that happen, and unhappy things that come our way. Sometimes (emphasis on some) we understand why something negative has occurred in our lives, but most times we often don’t know why. This in turn leaves us with countless questions (which is understandable). I’m going to be speaking from a Christian perspective, but if you’re not Christian please don’t stop reading. Content of this write up may be too much for some readers, so please be advised.

Ahem. I’m going to sound off and maybe a bit harsh when I say this, but I think we as Christians have an unhealthy grip on reality. I say this because we fail to realize one simple fact about life: whether you’re a ‘good’ person or a ‘bad’ person, Christian or non-Christian, things that we dread and pray against like illnesses, accidents, failures etc, happen to us; all of us. Our loved ones die, our dreams/heart desires don’t go as we plan, life-changing illnesses afflict us. Now you might be thinking “yeah we all know that, so what?”

What I want to emphasis is this: there are somethings we would never understand or know why. It’s understandable to desire answers for the purpose of an occurrence or why “God lets” something happen. But what I find to be unhealthy is us trying our best to rationalize every single negativity that comes our way (and the ways of others).

“Oh this person died because of so and so,” “I fell ill because I’ve been abusing my body and God is trying to show me something,” “that couple don’t have children yet because of the evil they did when they were younger,” the list goes on. We pin every single thing in our lives on God and whilst it’s good to acknowledge God (and the lack thereof) in everything, we fail to understand that sometimes things happen because….because….well I guess we’ll never know. Most times we even say it’s the “will of God” that something excruciatingly painful has happened to us. But again, I’m sorry but I think that’s us shielding ourselves from the reality of our situation. We say our struggles in life and pain is the will of God or punishment or enemy attack or a curse or something. Don’t get me wrong I believe in attack’s from the enemy, and obviously our actions and that of others have consequences either good or bad. But things do happen and that’s life, let’s not always blame God, blame people or even worse blame ourselves for the unhappy happenings in our lives. It’s very unhealthy.

I want to encourage everyone reading this. Try and read the book of Job in the Bible. It’s quite sad but very powerful and would reiterate what I mean.

Life isn’t easy, but it’s filled with both great, beautiful moments and sad, dark times. Take your time to learn, heal and move on.

Have a blessed day.

Forgive or Else

This one is mainly for my Christian brothers and sisters, but you can read on even if you aren’t a Christian. Continuing from my previous post on forgiveness, I will further stress the importance of healing and taking it easy when you’re attempting to forgive someone (or people).

Passages like Matthew 6:15 and Mark 11:26 emphasize the need to forgive and the effects of not doing so. For example:

“And when you pray, make sure you forgive the faults of others so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you withhold forgiveness from others, your Father withholds forgiveness from you.”

                                                                Matthew 6: 14-15TPT

This passage makes it very clear: if you don’t forgive someone, God also wouldn’t forgive you. Sounds very daunting doesn’t it? This person has hurt you and made you feel a certain way, and because you still hold a grudge against him or her, God wouldn’t forgive you. 

Don’t be scared, honestly, don’t. The point is to be intentional about forgiving. I have witnessed countless moments from my school days and from the different churches I’ve been to, where people who aren’t on speaking terms, being pressured to make up. For example, two friends who fight- these said friends are expected to or sometimes even forced, to reconcile and make up quickly. People who have issues with themselves are pressured to bury the hatchet and resume their relationship prior to the offence. Now I personally don’t understand how anyone can think forcing forgiveness works, but I’m guessing the superiors at my secondary school and church pushed for issues to be forgiven quickly, to keep the peace and so God wouldn’t withhold His forgiveness. Another reason would most likely be “in case Jesus came suddenly, your un-forgiveness wouldn’t be held against you.” Do any of these reasons sounds familiar to you who is reading? 

Let me start by saying this: telling someone to forgive quickly is like telling a person who is addicted to drugs to overcome taking drugs quickly, it’s also like telling someone with anger issues to simply stop getting angry, it’s also quite similar to telling a person who struggles with masturbation to quickly stop masturbating. Now I am in NO WAY saying that un-forgiveness, anger issues, struggling with masturbation and being addicted to drugs are all the same. They’re obviously not. However, they’re all challenges or issues or hurdles (whatever word you call them) that people face, even Christians. Christians face countless issues and challenges that they overcome with God’s help.  And most of these problems (which yes are sins) don’t disappear in a day. Most times a long process is required to overcome them. And when I say “long” I just mean time. That time varies depending on you and depending on the issue. So just like pressuring someone to stop being addicted to a substance quickly, pressuring a person to forgive quickly is ridiculous. God sees all sins as equal and He alone gives us the time and opportunity to heal and let go of our sins. If you think a person should forgive quickly before Jesus comes or before he or she dies (suddenly), maybe you yourself should stop doing whatever sin you’re struggling with quickly. After all, we ALL have sins God is helping us with, and like I said earlier, ALL sin is equal before God. Instead of pressuring or guilt-tripping a person to forgive, why not just encourage them to be intentional about forgiving and leave the rest to God. By “intentional” I mean you being deliberate about forgiving the offender and sincerely trying to pardon them. Even if you find that you’re struggling to forgive and pardon them or you find that you’re not as angry at them as before but you still hold something against them, something small; as long as your heart is sincere about forgiving the person, you’re good. Don’t feel like because you’re still angry at them, God wouldn’t forgive you. The Matthew 6:15 and Mark 11:26 passage doesn’t apply to you, because you’re trying. This simple fact applies to all sins and issues: even if you’re struggling with a sin and you fall and continue to commit the sin, as long as you’re sincerely trying to overcome it, you’re not in the same category as the person who isn’t thinking of moving on from the sin and is still living in it. 

I leave you with this passage-Proverbs 24:16 “The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked” (NLT).

Forgive, but please heal and take your time.

What Is Forgiveness

Today I want to talk about forgiveness. It’s something we all believe to be very important and yet most of us find it difficult to actually do. Virtually every faith, religion and theology speaks on this issue of forgiveness and how vital it is for one’s spiritual, mental and even physical wellbeing. 

So what is forgiveness?

I’ve heard many different but similar definitions: “forgiveness is letting go of an offence and forgetting about it,” “forgiveness is releasing yourself from the bondage of an offence,” “forgiveness is pardoning a wrongdoing done to you and moving on.” 

You’re free to agree or disagree with these statements, that’s up to you. I’m here to delve into the basics of what forgiveness involves, and to share some encouragement. 

From my observation, forgiveness consists of two things. The first is anger. Well, anger, pain, betrayal, suffering and other agonizing emotions; but mainly anger. When someone hurts you, in order to forgive them you would essential stop holding immense anger towards them. This is the main reason people struggle to let go of offences. Someone has done you wrong and made you feel a certain way, as a human you would respond to this situation with sadness, pain or any other emotion; this isn’t bad, that’s just how we are. Then you hear that you need to forgive that person(s). For some, they might let go and forgive the person easily, but for most, they would struggle. Again, I’m not judging anyone, that’s just how it is: most of us struggle to forgive. 

But why? Well because this person(s) has done something horrible to you or said something hurtful to you or about you, so you’re not happy with them. You’re angry at them. And like I said earlier, to forgive them means you would stop being angry at them. When I say that you stop being angry at them, this in no way means that the hurt they did to you would suddenly make you smile or that the offence stops being horrible. I just mean that the anger you hold towards them dies down. When you forgive someone, the anger dies down.

And this leads me to the second component of forgiveness: healing. Simply put, to pardon a wrongdoing and move on, you NEED to heal from the hurt. Now have you ever observed the healing process of a wound? They take time; and this time depends on how big or deep the injury is. Offences hurt like cuts and bruises do, maybe even more. And just like a wound, you heal from an offence. What exactly are you healing from? The offence and the effects it has on you. Think very deeply about this-how did that offence make you feel? Embarrassed? Confused? Scared? Betrayed? Weak? Small? Sad? Bitter? Or all of the above. Irrespective of what it is, you would need to heal from it (or them). 

Why am I highlighting these facts? Because the truth is forgiveness is hard and very misunderstood. Anger is an emotion and emotions are tricky. Very tricky. Healing takes time, and there’s no set duration of healing for every single human being. For example, you and I may have faced the same offence and it may take you one month to forgive the offender while it takes me one year to forgive and move on rom the very same offence. Whilst the offence is the same, you and I are not. The issue may affect both of us differently, not to mention the very fact that we are completely different individuals means we think differently, perceive things differently etc.

What am I saying in conclusion? I agree that we should all forgive, but I don’t agree with rushing the process of forgiveness and definitely don’t agree with judging people who are struggling to forgive an offence. I believe we should all just be intentional about forgiving a person who has hurt us. Most of us sincerely want to forgive but we just don’t know how to handle the pain, move on and “forget.” Not to mention, when people talk about the issue of forgiveness, they give the impression that you have to forgive the wrongdoer there and then, or quickly. Don’t get me wrong, some of us know how to just let go and forgive easily, but again, we’re all different people. Psycho-analyze yourself and the anger you hold towards the person. It’s not bad that you’re angry at the person-the anger is a natural response to the issue. Ask yourself why you’re angry (or sad or bitter etc) at the person, and at the situation. Give yourself time to heal and move on. Don’t feel bad when you think you have forgiven the person and then you find out that you haven’t. Take your time, but be intentional. Please don’t, do not, DON’T!! ever force the process of forgiveness. And don’t deceive yourself either. Don’t say you’re okay when you’re not, don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re no longer angry or hurt even when you still are. Usually, as you begin to heal, the anger and hurt would begin to die down, reduce and diminish. So take your time to heal and forgive.