#equality #feminism #masculinity
There is a certain way the man is expected to be. In his home, in his place of work, in his school, in decision making etc, there are specific qualities that men are expected to portray.
They consist of being hard and tough, unemotional and less than sensitive, logical and pragmatic, superior and grandiose etc. Married men are required to be the protectors of the home and are responsible for making sure their family is well provided for.
There are many other “responsibilities” society gives men other than the ones I have listed above, but please look back at these characteristics that I have mentioned. Can you see the problem?
It’s clear: these are unrealistic expectations which absolutely no human being (whether man or woman) can function with.
Women have their struggles in society. Of the two sexes women are undoubtedly the oppressed group; but I want to highlight something that isn’t being highlighted enough: men are programmed (by society) to be self-destructive.
Now I understand that not all men follow the societal norm of what it means to be masculine, but a large number of them do (subconsciously).
It’s worth understanding that Masculinity is a learned behavior (so is Femininity). Men aren’t “naturally” tough, logical, insensitive and uncaring, in comparison to women. There are loads of caring men that are better with children than some women, there are loads of illogical and asinine men; and as for emotions, all men are emotional, and all women are emotional. We’re all humans with feelings, and at all times we react to situations and people with emotions. Now depending on you and your personality (not depending on your sex), you may choose not to let your emotions dictate your actions, words or response to that stimulus. Or you may choose to tackle the situation purely based on your emotions-this is based on you as a person, not on your sex.
This makes it clear that the “men aren’t emotional” narrative is untrue.
The danger of masculinity is that it robs men of their freedom to express themselves properly. We’ve all heard this saying: “men don’t cry.” Seriously? They don’t cry?
We’ve also heard that married men protect their family. Okay, that’s lovely, but who is protecting the man?
We feel that all men should at least subscribe to one sport and in the case where we come across a man whose interest lie less in sports and more in arts, we deem it odd. Or we see it as “girly.”
We tell our little boys “you run like a girl,” well why is it such a bad thing to run “like a girl?”
We expect our men to be the sole providers or the main providers of the home. Even single men in the dating game are expected to have money or be in financially echelon to be considered an eligible partner by women. Everyone (both men and women) should earnestly work hard and be financially stable (to the best of their abilities). Why should men carry the burden of being the financial powerhouse? Both men and women (married and unmarried) should be financially independent and stable.
We expect our men to show no form or emotion or vulnerability, which is so ridiculous because everybody has their vulnerable, weak moments. Everyone has their highs and lows, everyone gets scared and confused-it’s not a bad thing.
But no, a man must always be firm and be in charge.
Men are also expected to tower over their female counterparts-in wealth, in ambition, in talent and skill-they must always be superior. It’s so sad because it’s clear most men see their value in being superior to women (and sometimes being superior to men as well). And so when they come across a woman who is wealthier, more talented or even taller than they are, there’s friction.
Ultimately what happens is that our men are broken internally, and because “men don’t share” (only women do), they suffer in silence. Worse still, is that they pass this broken lineage to their sons, and in a lot of cases you find that many young men (also broken) have estranged or non-existent relationships with their fathers.
Why do you think the rate of suicide in men is increasing? According Verywell Mind, men are four times more likely to commit suicide than women.
Their mental health is at risk. Men are human beings, not rocks.