#life #human #lighthearted #beinghuman #change #writer #blog #peace #love #fickleness
I hated tomatoes when I was a kid; beans as well. I couldn’t understand how people ate such bloody looking things with English Breakfast (my favorite). From when I was little I believed that I would only ever be with a guy from my country (Nigeria) and my tribe (Yoruba). And my comfort zone when it came to traveling was always within English-speaking countries, and places that seemed “black friendly.” Countries too far, too different and too foreign were utterly oblivious to me. By this, I mean countries in places like Asia.
So…why do I absolutely love tomatoes now. I find their taste, texture and color to be glorious. How come my very ever first boyfriend was white and British. And to top it off, I’m currently planning to move to Japan. Huh?
Does that happen to you as well? I bet it does. So many things we originally find to be unappealing and distasteful are somehow the very things that peak our interests today. Things, people and places we were thoroughly obsessed with early in our lives are the very things we can’t stand anymore.
Boys we had deep crushes on, girls we hoped and hoped we may one day be lucky enough to date, don’t even move us anymore now. Sometimes you even wander what you ever saw in them. And that’s not to diss them, you sincerely can’t find what made you so crazy about them.
Why and how do things change?
Well, we’re fickle, very fickle. We go through a never ending cycle of change, growth and metamorphosis. During this process we expel and absorb things and it’s so beautiful. I really do find this aspect of being a human being to be neither good nor bad, but rather interesting.
Although it can be bad (some times). For instance, when you work so hard for a goal and you’re headstrong and passionate about it and then someone says just one statement concerning that aspiration and you immediately become discouraged, distraught and sad. You no longer see that once shiny dream the way you formerly did. As a result, you give up.
It could also be good too, this “fickleness.” Like when you have a certain fear and you think it’s the worst possible thing ever and it gives you anxiety and sleepless nights and zero moments of peace. And then someone tells you something, just one thing, about that fear, and then you suddenly wander: “…hmm…you’re actually right.” You experience an instant paradigm shift and that fear becomes nothing more than a dot.
Maybe fickleness isn’t the word to describe all these things I’ve mentioned. But I quite like the way it sounds and I don’t think “change” or “metamorphosis” encompasses it aptly.
This is not to say that there aren’t some things that remain the same about you. Because there are. Not every single thing about you changes. I still love cats, I still believe anime is one of the best form of art in the world, and I still love reading dictionaries for fun.
Just embrace it-this aspect of being a sentient human being. Accept the change that blooms from within you, and sprouts outwards like a flower. These changes you can’t control. The wildness that comes with it, the lessons it brings, the openness it welcomes into your life. Embrace it all.
Never say never; because if anyone had told me this time last year (April 2018), that I would able to read, write and speak an Asian language. If anyone told me when I was in university that I would be the first of my siblings to move out of our family house and live by myself halfway across the world. If…if anyone told me when I was a kid, that I would be the way I am right now.
I would not have believed them.